btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
