i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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