You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
