never play flip cup with pint glasses
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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