I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
