Christians are straight up FREAKS
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
