So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
