you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
