making cat noises will not fix the situation.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize