Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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