I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
