Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
