Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
