We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
