just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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