im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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