hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
