You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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