Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
