And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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