i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
