I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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