he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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