I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
