Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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