Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
