Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
