I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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