just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize