it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
God I need to hump something, right now.
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