So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
