we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My cat gives me a boner
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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