I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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