you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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