wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
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