There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
