i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
