he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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