is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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