why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
