i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
