thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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