There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
