just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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