Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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