hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
well you can't waste a boner
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize