I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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