i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wear drunk well.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
