No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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