I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
