I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
