Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
third nipple confirmed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
