I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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