4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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