Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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