I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
