They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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