is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
