I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
