Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
