Your dad touched me again.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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