I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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