New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
