Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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