The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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