Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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