I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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