Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
