Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
