If that was your dad, he is hot
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
