Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
