he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You need Xanax blowdarts
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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