I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
