You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
