your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
