Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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