Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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