on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
