NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
