so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
